Ambien. No doubt about it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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