You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
