just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you never un-have a 4some
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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