Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
