Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
