My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
