it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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