do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
