just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
