Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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