As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
