She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
