i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
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