Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
