dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
