remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
