You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
