I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
