Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're a waste of cheezeits
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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