she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
