i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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