i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
