So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
