You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
