Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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