Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
