also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
