I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The feeling are messing with the penis
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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