He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
