I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
