he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
