Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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