Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
