You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
