She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
