Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
