Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
