I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
