Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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