please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
