ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
