Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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