thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There are leaves in my underwear?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
