It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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