its not stalking. its research.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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