Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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