apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
