Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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