she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
