Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
