there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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