im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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