I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
